Hopeful

Yesterday I had an interview for a cytogenetics job. It went okay I suppose. You never can tell. I tend to replay things in my head and wish I had said something more intelligent or eloquent, but I do not yet have the power to go back in time. Anyways, crossing fingers and toes...

Yesterday evening I went to a free yoga class. It focused on stress relief and meditation. While we did do a few asanas, most of the time we lied under blankets with our eyes closed and visualized stress being washed away into the ocean.

Sounds so flaky, huh? I had a hard time paying attention. I just know the woman next to me started snoring and I was concentrating so hard on breathing deeply I gave myself a headache.

Flaky or not, it is for that very reason that I want to learn to meditate. I have such a hard time clearing my mind sometimes. Like I mentioned, I replay situations in my head, sometimes obsessively so. I worry a lot and get very anxious. And just forget about it if I haven't had enough sleep. Basketcase = me.

Learning to meditate has been on my mind for the past few weeks as I have been reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I mentioned this book in a previous post. I am taking such a long time to read it because I know once I finish it I will be sad that it is over (kinda like flan. mmmm...flan). In other words, I like it. In the second third of the book, Gilbert goes to India to learn to pray and get closer to God. While I don't have such ambitions, I do relate to the author in her desire to learn to let go (sincerely, and not just repress or ignore things), live with an open heart, and most of all be happy. I'll let y'all know if I ever figure out what all that means and how to do it. Don't hold your breath though, I hear it's a lifelong thing.

(Before you think this book is totally zen flaky granola earthy crunchy, keep this in mind: Elizabeth Gilbert's life is also the basis for the movie Coyote Ugly. Interesting, no? I also hear that Eat Pray Love might be turned into a movie starring Julia Roberts. I really hope that doesn't suck.)