Snow

FREAKIN' SNOW.

There is SNOW on the the ground.

SNOW.

There is snow on the trees, on the ground, all over the freakin' place. Well, not the roads. BUT STILL.

SNOW.

I tells ya, this place is a'drivin me a'crazy!

Cold

It's so cold for April.

Some weeks ago I planted summer squash (for the blossoms) and heirloom tomato seeds in a tray. Last week when it was sunny and warm I placed the seedlings outside in the shade to let them get used to the big, big world. I started digging a plot for the seedlings. I only got about a rectangle 6ft x 3ft dug up. It sort of looks like a really shallow grave for a skinny person. I mean, reaaaallly shallow. I only dug up the grass, so it's about 6inches deep. And I didn't even start mixing the soil and such and such to put in the plot. I didn't get terribly far because I was doing this alone on a Monday (I work on the weekends) and I am kinda lazy and whiny when it comes to yard work. There are worms, people and they are icky!

Anyways, it's cold. I brought the seedlings back inside.

This is the first time I've ever really grown vegetables so I'm pretty excited about the whole prospect of having vegetables you can't easily find.

Damn you random cold weather!!!!

Flute

I'm usually not a fan of the flute.

But then there's this

The eye of the beholder

I do not consider myself very attractive. I'm much too pillow-like. I've got awful skin. My calves are too big and I think I may have giant man hands with kielbasas for fingers. My hair often resembles a topiary.

But today in the store a woman asked me what my nationality is and then said:

"You're beautiful."

I bet you that woman is going to heaven.

Hopeful

Yesterday I had an interview for a cytogenetics job. It went okay I suppose. You never can tell. I tend to replay things in my head and wish I had said something more intelligent or eloquent, but I do not yet have the power to go back in time. Anyways, crossing fingers and toes...

Yesterday evening I went to a free yoga class. It focused on stress relief and meditation. While we did do a few asanas, most of the time we lied under blankets with our eyes closed and visualized stress being washed away into the ocean.

Sounds so flaky, huh? I had a hard time paying attention. I just know the woman next to me started snoring and I was concentrating so hard on breathing deeply I gave myself a headache.

Flaky or not, it is for that very reason that I want to learn to meditate. I have such a hard time clearing my mind sometimes. Like I mentioned, I replay situations in my head, sometimes obsessively so. I worry a lot and get very anxious. And just forget about it if I haven't had enough sleep. Basketcase = me.

Learning to meditate has been on my mind for the past few weeks as I have been reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I mentioned this book in a previous post. I am taking such a long time to read it because I know once I finish it I will be sad that it is over (kinda like flan. mmmm...flan). In other words, I like it. In the second third of the book, Gilbert goes to India to learn to pray and get closer to God. While I don't have such ambitions, I do relate to the author in her desire to learn to let go (sincerely, and not just repress or ignore things), live with an open heart, and most of all be happy. I'll let y'all know if I ever figure out what all that means and how to do it. Don't hold your breath though, I hear it's a lifelong thing.

(Before you think this book is totally zen flaky granola earthy crunchy, keep this in mind: Elizabeth Gilbert's life is also the basis for the movie Coyote Ugly. Interesting, no? I also hear that Eat Pray Love might be turned into a movie starring Julia Roberts. I really hope that doesn't suck.)